Gingerbread house fails are a holiday tradition. You gather an unacceptable pile of candy at the store, dump it on the table, and begin work on the epic gingerbread house of your dreams. If you’re brave, you let your mind’s eye guide the construction process. When you need a little inspiration, you surf the web for gingerbread houses that inspire your inner builder. This is where the trouble starts.
It’s easy to imagine an immaculate ginger-mansion with perfect peppermint roof tiles and gumdrop trim. Crafting it is the difficult bit. Every year, dozens of epic gingerbread house dreams are crushed when grand ideas crumble into Christmas fails. Whether you are a fellow gingerbread failure or simply enjoy reveling in schadenfreude, these gingerbread house fails are for you. Enjoy them with the proper holiday cheer.
This little house seems to be crying. It’s a temper-tantrum, gingerbread style.
This wrapper-stuffed gingerbread house looks more like a crack house. So much for all that minty-freshness.
The gingerbread porch bench isn’t that bad. Unfortunately, I’d feel safer curled up there than inside the tipping house.
This wigman-looking gingerbread structure hardly passes as a house. At least the makers were creatives about the structure’s destruction.
Hide your kids! Hide your wife! This gingerbread house of horror has been impaled with a knife!
The roof is full of leaks and it’s got licorice wrapped around it like a criminal, but this gingerbread house doesn’t care. It’s got the balls to say so, too.
I feel bad for the charming gingerbread family so oblivious to the misfortune that has befallen their home. It does make a charming metaphor for suburb façades, though.
I don’t know whether the alarmed faces on this gingerbread couple are a sign of genius or ominous foreshadowing…
This poor gingerbread family was crushed when their house fell apart. When the only piece of your home to remain standing is the back wall, that’s saying something.
Gingerbread house fails come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, Santa drives a Chex tank for Christmas…
When everything falls apart and there’s nothing salvageable, admit defeat. Sometimes Christmas fails can be life lessons.
Realism isn’t often sought after in holiday traditions, but this gingerbread house is different. It’s not really bad, just incredibly gloomy.
This is the year for violent Santas. First, he’s riding around in a tank. Now, he’s causing house implosions with his sleigh. He looks pretty happy about it all…
Sometimes the only thing that seems to matter is candy. You slather your gingerbread house with icing and slap on anything and everything you think of. It’s thinking with your stomach and the results are atrocious.
There’s nothing really wrong here except half a detached roof. I’m far more intrigued by the petting zoo on the front lawn.
We’ve been through every gingerbread house fail except one. Those Christmas fails when you really can’t get any ginger slabs to stick together. In these circumstances, a pile of hopes is all you can assemble. It’s the ultimate gingerbread disaster.
By now, you are either afraid of gingerbread houses or fired up to face the challenge. For better or for worse, go for the epic gingerbread house. It’s worth the risk of failure. I promise.
— Julie Grossman