Unconventional romantics thrive on awkwardly funny Valentine’s Day cards. Gone are the days of Hallmark-style schmooze and cheesy cardstock poetry. We need comedic Valentine’s Day cards, awkward dating cards rooted in the filthy sludge of reality. Even if you consider yourself a die-hard romantic, you can’t deny that funny Valentine’s Day cards have some charm. Nothing beats that warm and fuzzy feeling of making your significant other laugh. If it takes a little bit of shock to get them there, who cares? The reward is worth the risk. Whether you’re in a longterm committed relationship or are shifting from being a fling to the real thing, it’s nice to show your comedic side on a what can be a somewhat serious day. So here are some funny Valentine’s Day cards to earn you a sexy smile on February 14th.
Casual is great. Let those little hearts do all the talking.
This one is sure to clear out any room.
LET’S BE WEIRD TOGETHER
Because weird is obviously better than cute.
YOU GIVE ME THE HORN
The horniest card on this list.
On Valentine’s Day, the sexual tension is just a ticking time bomb anyway, right?
I KNOW WE’RE NOT, LIKE, TOGETHER…
When you have a lot of feelings, vomit them all over your awkward dating card.
I DUCKING LOVE YOU
Sign language is a much more effective communicator than technology.
I REALLY LOVE YOU…
Happy passive aggressive Valentine’s Day, Sweetie.
I KNOW: BEING SINGLE ON VALENTINE’S DAY SUCKS
Being single on Valentine’s Day can suck. You know what doesn’t suck? A best friend.
I’M THINKING OF YOU, BUT NOT IN A CREEPY WAY
I’d stick this card on their desk and hide under the bed for dramatic effect.
Honesty can make or break a relationship. Might as well be up front.
LET’S LIE IN BED AND EAT
Forget all the fancy shenanigans. You both know what you really want to do.
YOU HATE PANTS AND I DO TOO
Shared interests make great comedic Valentine’s Day cards.
THANKS FOR NOT CALLING ME TOO MUCH
When you need to keep things casual, choose your compliments carefully.
I DIDN’T REALIZE WE WERE IN LOVE UNTIL…
The holiday made you do it. Be honest.
COMMITMENT IS SCARY
If you think things are going too fast, put on the breaks with a card.
I WANT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…
We all have secret motives. Why not just tell it like it is?
PLEASE DUMP THEM
If you do this, you’re a terrible person.
IF YOU EVER GET MAULED BY A BEAR…
Some comedic Valentine’s Day cards have a morbid slant.
I LIKE YOU MORE THAN KANYE LIKES KANYE
Is this what love looks like to the millennial generation?
YOU’RE MY FAVORITE SHANK
Hopefully, you feel the same way.
I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU
Who knows? Maybe this is the Valentine’s Day card they’ve been waiting for.
Comedic Valentine’s Day cards come in all shapes and sizes. Clearly, there’s one for every relationship. Make someone laugh this Valentine’s Day. Love is a funny thing.