There were some pretty crazy shoes at London Fashion Week this year. For Brits known for their shoe prowess, these designs felt wildly out of place. Erdem’s elaborate floral heels were the first sign of trouble. Their prints looked more like misplaced dress patterns than innovative footwear. Then came Anya Hindmarch’s fuzzy slippers with cross-eyed googly eyes. The looks went on from there. While nothing beat those strange big-eyed slippers, they didn’t set the bar very high. February was definitely a strange month for shoes in London. Just in case you were wondering, here are more crazy shoes from London Fashion Week.
FLORAL PLATFORM SHOES
The red floral embroidered on the front strap of this shoe is beautiful. It’s the dress-like flower print on its thick, tall platform that doesn’t quite work. Seems more like you’re walking on some gaudy silicone vase.
KNEE-HIGH STRAP-ON SHOES
Erdem took corset-inspired fashion and turned it into a strange, frilly shoe. If you thought bootlaces were hard, try doing up one of these! While probably keeps your ankles warm, I’m not convinced that benefit outweighs the overall awkwardness.
GOOGLY-EYED CREATURE SLIPPERS
These fluffy items may be cute, but is this really the direction you want haute couture to take in 2017? They look like children’s footwear inspired by Monsters, Inc.! Not something we need on the fashion runway.
TURQUOISE FLAME COWGIRL BOOTS
Brace yourself. London Fashion Week may have the occasion pair of crazy shoes to buy, but it’s never embraced a non-English piece with this much gusto. Apparently, cowgirl clothes and Western chic are very much alive in British high fashion.
KNEE-HIGH SILVER BOOTS
Thanks to House of Holland, exotic fashion boots made a big splash in London. The fashion house flooded their runway with graphic Western chic footwear. Blended with mesh tights, it also looks like something right out of sexy subculture.
ZEBRA STRIPED DRESS BOOTS
Crazy shoe design in London saw most designers using prints traditionally reserved for clothing. These striped dress boots fit so well they almost look like a leather sock.
CLASSIC BLACK HEELS WITH A TWIST
Christopher Kane went the fast-food route with these business-inspired crazy shoes. It’s difficult to imagine when you would willfully wear a design like this.
KNEE-HIGH PLASTIC LATCH-UPS
Comfort is very important when designing a shoe. The folks at J. W. Anderson missed that memo when they were designing this tall heel. If you don’t have any thick leggings, you might want to try a shoe with less intense clasps.
GOOD LUCK RED COWGIRL BOOTS
Coupling a crimson boot covered in horseshoes with mesh leggings is the strangest footwear look from House of Holland. The aggressively Western chic graphics don’t match with anything. It’s bold, but that’s about it.
VELVET PLATFORM PUMPS
Mary Katrantzou’s Fantasia-inspired fashion line was a big hit at London Fashion Week. Her custom shoe design re-inventing the princess slipper as a soft, fabric pump was less successful.
PLASTIC, CHESS-INSPIRED SPARKLY HEELS
The thin, decorative heel on these shoes is beautifully sculpted, but it doesn’t look safe to walk on. You can find plenty of glittery pumps without risky heels. Leave this one to the professional models.
POODLE-TRIMMED PLATFORM SHOES
Simone Rocha’s take on the platform shoe didn’t fail because of unnecessary prints or a fabric surface. It used too much puffy fur. If you value warmth over function, maybe it’s the shoe for you.
LEG-LENGTH SLOGAN BOOTS
These statement boots from Sophia Webster are playful, colorful, and very disco. Would you wear the slogan “Hot Like Fire, Cold Like Ice”?
GLAM AND JEWELRY LADEN KNEE-HIGH HEELS
Studded shoes aren’t usually this heavy. These knee-high heels break that mold with their spiky, jewel-encrusted adornments. They certainly aren’t good shoes to wear in a crowd.
Shoes and fashion can be weird. These runway looks are diverse, but you wouldn’t wear a single one in your everyday life. Sometimes the best thing to do at fashion shows is admire everything from a safe distance.
— Timothy Vest